How to Be Present: A Year-Long Experiment
Being Present: Navigating What it Means and How to Be
It's the season of goal setting and New Year's resolutions.
I used to be a sucker for both. But in 2020, I found myself rethinking the traditional methods of goal setting. At every turn, I heard the word "uncertainty," and yet, the approach to setting SMART goals felt disconnected from reality. It didn't fit right.
I shifted from setting rigorous goals to aligning with personal values, a shift that felt more feasible in the face of unpredictability. Though this new approach hasn't led solely to happiness, productivity, and success, it has resulted in an abundance of positive change, learning, and personal growth.
Now, as 2024 begins, my intention is to embrace the present moment.
But there's only one problem: I don't know how to be present, and what does that even mean!?
What I do know is that I spend a lot of time feeling anxious about the future or dwelling in the past.
This realization became apparent after my daughter's birth, when I struggled to live in the present despite advocating for it in my previous writings (e.g., the last sentence in this previous article reads: It's time to put away the magic wand and live for today).
During maternity leave, I was tired but couldn't sit still. I was demotivated but eager to get back to work. Anxiety wouldn't allow me to be present, despite being told over and over again that the few months will "fly by" and that I should "cherish every moment." Clearly, that advice backfired.
To combat this anxiety, I worked on an ambitious sewing project that pushed my skills to their limit. For the record, it was a coat, and the coat turned out great. I have it hanging on a mannequin in my office as a symbol of what I can achieve.
At the same time, the act of making the coat was a symbol of fear. The fear of losing my self-expression, my creativity, and my ambition. It was all scary as f***.
You can read all the manuals and how-to's in the world, listen to mom friends or your own mother, but there is no manual for being a new mom. I had no idea what the future held, which exacerbated my anxiety.
A week ago, I felt gloomy as I walked into my therapy appointment, but I walked out feeling energized. I had a breakthrough — I wanted 2024 to be the year I grounded myself in the present, even when times were boring, hard, and uncomfortable.
That's my intention. To be fully present and to experience life to its fullest. It's not going to be easy, and so I thought writing about it would help.
My daughter is one now. A week ago, while playing in the bathtub, she was overjoyed when she learned how to fill a bucket with water and pour it out. As I watched her, I felt tears of my own joy rush in. I was fully present. This is where I want to be, I told myself.
But not all present moments are filled with joy, excitement, love, or happiness. Sometimes, the present moment is boring, hard, or uncomfortable, but being present for these moments is just as important.
What is it like to be present?
When do I tend to dwell on the past or feel anxious about the future?
When do I find myself doomscrolling on social media?
What environment allows me to fully focus on the task at hand?
These are the types of questions I want to answer for myself this year, and I plan to share the journey with you — both pleasant and challenging. I think we all struggle with being present and defining what that means.
I hope you stick around as I share my findings every month during this year-long experiment.
What's your intention for 2024? I'd love to hear from you!
I love this experiment! And I have often struggled with being present, so I look forward to learning from these posts.
My intention / word of 2024 is "Daily."